Passion and love is something I always want to hold onto; never anger and resentment. This summer has been touching the essence of what it means to be Keri Gray on every level possible, including my love life. I have grown academically, personally, professionally and spiritually. Deep, right? However, I never thought it would affect me in the area of love.
Now may not be the best time to write this blog on how I feel about love because the way I felt two days ago has changes numerous times since up to today. However, I feel compelled to share in moments of confusion and inconsistency because I know at least one other person can relate to me.
I met a guy here in DC the very first day I was in town. I mean I was off the plane, put my things down in the apartment, socialized with my new roommates, and then out at a store I made a connection that would deeply impact my life. Our relationship moved very fast, but surprising I was okay with that. See I had always been a person to hold back tremendously out of fear of the unknown, but being that way never would lead me to being real with myself or the one I was with. When I came upon this new man who deep interested me, I choose to be different open up and trust as much as I could. We were happy. Yes, definitely had our arguments and definitely had our issues, but we were happy. That is until Friday.
It has been said everything happens for a reason. We live and we learn from all the actions that happen in our life. Then I have to ask the question, why was it necessary for me to learn the message so harshly? I feel blinded on what the message given to me is because a pain dwells within my chest so powerful that I can not see clearly. What should I do? What lessons on love have you learned? How did you get past the pain to see the message at the end of the road? This is where I am at on my emotional journey thus far…waiting.
Monday, July 18, 2011
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Keri,
ReplyDeleteUsually when love comes knocking like rolling thunder on my door I put in earplugs and run to the nearest exit like dodging bullets when I was in Iraq.
I would opt not to blossom like a flower and be nurtured by another dear soul who could betray me. I didn't want to risk getting hurt.
I have learned that pricking your finger and getting stung by bees is part of the ebb and flow of getting to the sweetest honey.
I find that enjoying people for the good times that you have with them can be uplifting.
People come and go in our lives like the weather, while some stick around longer.
There is no magic potion, manual, or equation that equals love. Each case is unique and of it's own oyster.
One must not deny themselves of what they desire. You as a person deserve happiness.
Find hobbies that you enjoy and do them everyday. Keep yourself occupied with things. Take a walk. Sign up for a workout class.
Humans are naturally social creatures. I encourage you to continue to meet new people and let your true self shine.
Krista