Monday, July 2, 2012

bellybutton noting

Last week I dedicated to focus less energy on internal dialogue and more on observation and experience gathering. I was able to shadow a reporter and camera crew on some very interesting stories. I engaged with other interns at NBC. I interviewed individuals with specialized jobs, who were essentially a department within themselves, such as, whether and on deck manager during live and tape shows. This is a great experience. The roadblocks that I’m facing and the most important lessons I’m learning are not appropriate to write in this blog.

I’m already worried about the program ending. I’m anxious to see what’s next, but I’m scared of the possibilities or lack thereof. [Okay I’m inserting my own footnote, In my own way so don’t get on me about the correct format one should use when footnoting themselves in a blog, well I guess I’m not footnoting as much as bellybutton noting. Am I doing this whole blog thing right? Is this writing sample equivalent to my stipend? I don’t know, what do you think? What is this demonstrating? what am I demonstrating?  (besides that people with learning disabilities aren’t very fond of the educational system, in the demonstration of knowledge or skill that our culture holds so dear) you know what this is a blog, and blogs were created for those whose thoughts were being heard in a traditional format, they’re supposed to be ramblings, it’s the rebels domain, probably created by an individual in the LD community.]

People in this program tend to have 3 distinct relationships with their experience here, the 1st is probably the most practical and what the program was intended for, to help advance the path of an individual’s goal. In the use individuals cases their success is easily measured through a very clear achievement of a professional goal. The 2nd is most intriguing, these are those who may or may not have come into this experience with a goal, but who’s path has been altered and will be decided by the outcome of the summer. And finally we get to the 3rd, the ones who ask, what is this experience going to do to me? You’ve probably guessed which category I put myself in. I can set very clear goals for myself, but they are not traditional and they are not necessarily measurable to anyone outside myself. I will allow this experience to change me and guide me, but it won’t pave my a future. I am a freak. Blessed and cursed with a wandering mind, racing heart, and mellow soul. I am the 3rd, and we don’t look great on paper! Nor do we look very good to the ones and twos in real life, but we recognize each other, and that is why we are strong.


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