Hey blog-o-sphere. So, a few weeks ago I made a big move. I started neuro- therapy. I go two to three times a week. I take the yellow line all the way to Eisenhower. All in all it’s a three hour commitment, most of it in commute. So far the neurotherapy is really working. It’s incredible how I can sit through a half hour of “treatment” without feeling any kind of stimulation and come out a different person. After the first treatment, the second I got home I started cleaning my room, I did my laundry, I wrote e-mails that I had been putting off. There had been a wall in my head. A wall that I couldn’t get pass. I would know that I had to do things, I would want to do them, but I would just be unable to do them. Now, I am much more able to do them.
The treatment wears off though. It’s supposed to though. I have to do it at least twenty times they say in order to get a lasting effect. I’m sure I’ll have to do more than that to get the optimum effect. It’s exciting. Seeing such concrete progress is really exciting. I’ve gone so many years with doctors telling me things like, “Oh, as soon as you get to be a teenager it will get better,” “oh, the teenage years are the worst,” “the Tourette’s leaves most people around 25.” Every time I tried a new treatment, a new drug, a new dosage, therapy, meditation, etc. it was the same story… but this seems like it could work. OK. Now, I know this might sound crazy but every good thing has a bad side. Every change, no matter how positive is scary. I must confess that I am nervous. All my life I’ve told myself that I was capable of great things. The fact that my Tourette’s and OCD and depression etc. has held me back has been really frustrating, of course. But I’m used to it. I’m a little afraid to be without it. What if I can’t do something and I don’t have the Tourette’s to lean on? What if I have no excuse? What if I’m not some superhero in chains just waiting to be freed so he can cure the world of all that plagues it? Yikes. Anyway, I’m willing to take the chance. I’d rather be ordinary and chemically sound than ordinary and messed up!