Alright. The summer is almost over. I’m kind of afraid… change is really difficult for me. Really difficult. I always get depressed when I start something new as well as when I end something. In order to cope with this I’ve internalized some ideas that I’d like to share with you guys. I think you can benefit from these ideas whether or not change is difficult for you:
Ok. Things don’t end. Friendships don’t end. Experiences don’t end. Even if I never see or speak to say, Romteen again (I’m just using Romteen as an example) our relationship won’t end. It will just change. It will go from being a relationship defined primarily by physical contact and shared experience to one of memory. I may not see Romteen again (although I fully intend to) but that doesn’t mean he won’t impact my life. It is impossible to know how someone influences you. Even if you think that they haven’t, they have. Something Romteen said in conversation, whether or not I even remember that he said it, may influence the way I look at things. Thinking back to a time that I shared with him will make me smile, make me happy. So while my relationship with Romteen will obviously change (we go to different schools) it can never end. The same goes for everyone. The same goes for DC. For AAPD. Yes, we are leaving the city, ending the program, but for the rest of our lives we will laugh out loud to ourselves in otherwise silent rooms because something funny from the summer of 2009 just popped into our head. For the rest of our lives our experiences, good, bad, and neutral, will help to influence the way we think and act. So, worry not, nothing is ending. Things don’t end. They just change. And it is impossible to say whether DC as a present is better than DC as a memory… so, to all: I look forward to the good that will come from the next stage in our relationship. I look forward to the things that retrospect will teach me, to the lessons that will be illuminated by hindsight, to the purity that comes with romanticizing something that may not have been perfect. Enjoy…
Andrew
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